Leighton envisions a low-key night spent honoring John when she and her boyfriend, John, head to his favorite steakhouse for his birthday dinner. However, as their evening draws to a close, Leighton’s moral commitments prevent her from paying for John’s portion of the meal, which causes feelings and emotions to spiral out of control. I never thought his birthday would end with him blaming me of spoiling his night and yelling at me in a parking lot. Maybe if I could go back and tweak that dinner a little bit. In actuality, though, I adhered to a boundary I set long before John and I became romantically involved.
I did not believe I was in error. I am not so sure now, though. Allow me to clarify. I have been dating John for over a year now. And everything was mostly alright. I am 28 and he is 30, and like everyone else, we go through ups and downs. After one of our arguments, he would say to me, “We are just figuring it out, Leighton.” “We will overcome everything. “I always concurred as it appeared like a unique bond was developing between us. John’s desire to settle down was another something I loved.
However, food has always been a source of contention for us. Since the age of eleven, I have been a vegetarian. Although I do not force my opinions on others, morality and personal convictions were the main factors in my decision. That just is the way it has always been; it is a part of who I am. Moreover, I have stated unequivocally that I will not be using my money to purchase meat. That is my main point. John is aware of this. Indeed, he was aware of it right away. I was honest with him from the beginning when we started dating.
While I do not mind if you eat meat, I will not foot the bill. It is merely a rule I have.” It was not a huge problem, he replied, laughing at the moment. But now that I have looked back, I see how frequently it really became a problem. Small things like splitting the check when we went out to eat were the norm at first. On sometimes, I would gladly feed the two of us when he ordered a vegetarian dish. On other occasions, when he ordered something substantial, I would pay my share and assume he would pay the rest.
“Lighton, it is only food. Jeez. Are you arguing about this? Not purchasing a burger is not going to make a difference in the world. Gosh.” And each time I would give him an explanation of my position or point of view, that would be his response. I would brush it aside, not wanting to get into a fight over something I was so passionate about. It did, I must admit, irritate me. This man said he loved me, but he did not get me at all. And that was annoying. Still, I did not handle matters by yelling my opinions. I decided to let it go.